Peanut

Content warning: cannibalism, body dysmorphia

I trace the naked body in the mirror. It's like a peanut. Not an almond, but a peanut. A shriveled peanut. My slightly protruding breasts are the swollen upper half of the peanut, my frapped waist is the thin neck of the peanut, and my abdomen is the sedimentary pot belly of the peanut. There is a searing heat of hunger and nausea in my stomach. This strange desire intensifies, making me desperate for someone to lick me. Like licking a peanut.

So I licked the skin on my arm to myself. Salty, slightly moist, probably due to the heavy vapor in the bathroom, a taste far from peanuts. I love eating peanuts. My whole family loves eating peanuts. Wrinkled, shriveled, with a nut-exclusive bloodthirsty pleasure. But now it's not the peanut in the mouth. Without any other choice, I had to use delusions in my head to hypnotize myself to be nuts. Soon, one arm is fully licked. Delusional thinking works, I taste just like peanuts. I move on to the next arm.

Why not start with the fingers first? My mind wanders while licking the peanut. Normal people start with fingers, just as babies first learn to make a fist when they are born. At least when people are trapped in a trance and can't move, it's always their fingers that they try their best to move. Maybe it's because I'm a peanut? "Ah, it turns out I'm a peanut, so that makes sense." After all, why am I wandering? "It's clearly at the critical juncture of licking peanuts." The burning heat in the stomach does not ease, but climbed up the esophagus all the way to the throat. The status quo needs to be changed. The value of the peanut has yet to be tapped. I gnaw on my knee.

No pain as expected. Or maybe it is because what happens after that is out of my mind. All in all, peanuts have not evolved pain nerves, or any kind of nerve. I didn't open my eyes. Is it badly mutilated? The cross section of the peanut is red. Nauseated, I start to vomit. Spitting on the unobserved-thus-in-a-quantum-superposition-state big hole in my knee. Gastric juice runs down my knees to my toes, moistening the parched skin of the peanut. But that's not my intention, peanuts will eventually be broken down by gastric juices, and it doesn't make any difference whether they are dry or not. I start nibbling on one of my thighs. Hunger is not relieved, and nausea does not go away with vomiting.

I continue to wander. Everyone has had the experience of vomiting more violently after being incited by the vomit. What's the difference between this and greedily licking the peanut residue between your teeth after a gluttonous feast? The lingering taste of a peanut is so good; it gives you the feeling of "I was a rodent in my past life." Peanuts are new shoots. To devour peanuts is to devour new shoots. So the elderly like or dislike eating peanuts. As I think about this, I'm getting older, and the peanut is drier.

Dried peanuts are not good for the mouth. Its skin rubs the throat sorely. But I still finished the thigh. Next is the calf. If I were to use my reason to infer, I would be lying on a white tile right now. But peanuts have not evolved reason. If they had, they would be a thousand times more unpalatable than they are now. So it's a blessing not to have evolved reason. If I want to make it less difficult for myself to get into my mouth, I shouldn't have reason either. "Perfect reasoning." But one thing interrupts my thoughts.

The calf is finished. My mouth naturally turned to the other thigh. But what can't be ignored is the sudden increase in the rate of consumption. No. It isn't the rate increasing, it is me shrinking. The other thigh is eaten in two bites, and the other calf is eaten in one bite. I start biting the torso. It took three bites for the stomach, two for the waist and abdomen, and one for the breast. One thing people love about peanuts is that they are small, one bite for one peanut. I'm small, one bite for... one part of me. Peanuts are round, and my head is round. Hunger is moaning, it is a sound of coitus. Pain waits quietly. The mouth finally begins to devour the remaining head. Perhaps it is the grand sollemne, the mouth shuddered vaguely. Saliva mixes with gastric juices, giving off a nice peanut smell.

A peanut.

Peanut.

Mouth.